We had some questions that led us to our decision to seek out adoption agencies that have an extremely open policy between the adoptive and birth parents. Did we know what we were getting into when we finally made our decision on how we wanted our adoption to be? Are we afraid if too much contact will be more difficult for us and the child we adopt? These are a lot of the questions that we have talked about and researched when it came to what type of adoption we want to do now that we have decided on a domestic adoption instead of international.
It is hard to come by a truly closed adoption agency at this point within the US. All agencies have some form of open adoption when going through a private agency. Even some children that are adopted through foster care have open communication with part of their birth family (as long as it doesn’t pose a threat to the child emotionally or physically).
After taking that into account and realizing there will be some form of communication more than likely between us and the birth parents/family, we had to do more research to find out just how open we were willing to be and how that will affect our family in the future.
We are both a little worried about what the interaction will be and if it will be difficult to feel comfortable with the relationship between us and the birth family. We have read articles that say that it is better for the child to have some form of contact so they have more information and all we can do at this point is hope that whatever relationship we have is the right one for everyone involved.
There are some agencies that allow the families involved determine how open their adoption is and I think that is the best for us to look into at this point since some birth families might want more than we are comfortable giving at this time.
We have a meeting soon with a potential agency and hopefully after that we will feel more comfortable with what open adoption means.