Tonight at our group meeting we talked about two important topics entrustment ceremonies and how to spot a scam. Both are going to be important to have more information on as we progress and try to become active. We got some good handouts that we reviewed there but that I am sure I will consult again in the future.
The first part of the meeting was focused on scams and trying to figure out how to spot them. Since we are not active yet we are worried about what a scam will look like and how we will handle it when it happens, since we have been told most expecting families come across a scam. I have to admit that in email format it is hard to determine which ones are scams and which aren’t. The best you can do is to respond to all inquiries and then verify with our counselor after we have finished to check if she is working with the agency yet. There are times when it looks like the person is giving so much personal information and it is like they are trying too much to reel you in but other times someone might just be nervous and not know how they should start so they give a lot of information too. I hope that we keep in mind to not get too attached to a birth mother during first contact in case they turn out to be a scam.
An entrustment ceremony is not always done and not every birth mother wants to complete one. This is basically where there is a formal/informal transferring of the child from the birth mother to the adoptive parents. It can include prayers, poems, exchanging of small gifts to remember the day by, scripture, blessings, etc. The ceremony can be whatever the people involved want it to be and is to be a symbolic of handing over the care and upbringing of the child from one to the next. I wonder how many birth moms want this type of ceremony and what the likely hood will be that we will perform something like this. At the very least I do want to get a small token for the birth mother to take home after the placement like a photo album or a piece of adoption jewelry.