Well after attending the meeting last night it is good to know that some of the same thoughts and feelings I have been having are shared by others. I go through each day for the most part and don’t think about all the things we have gone through in the last couple years. Then at the slightest phrase or sight I will get really frustrated with the curve balls that life has thrown our way.
Getting used to what those triggers are and trying to remind myself that I can’t change the situation since there is nothing I can do differently is something that will help it get easier over time and I know that.
Another lesson learned, is just how long some of the people we have been meeting have struggled with fertility before starting adoption. As it was, for us we had a set amount of time in mind before we would reevaluate the situation and that really helped because right before we decided to stop fertility treatments I was having a lot more stress each month with no results. Plus towards the end people knew we were trying and would ask how things were going which on one hand is sweet of them to ask but on the other it was getting harder and harder to talk about it, as it seemed like the chances of something working were getting smaller and smaller.
Now I know that I am never going to be fully over the feelings of being inadequate because I couldn’t get pregnant, but I know some of my triggers and that is the first step in learning to deal with it.