Found out today that some friends of ours are pregnant. While I am trying to be happy for them my gut reaction was jealousy. I am kind of glad I didn’t find out in person with them or I might not have been able to hide my feelings and just show the happiness that I do have that they are going to have a baby.
The first thing I thought about and had a hard time getting over in my head was why it was so easy for them. We know that they had not been trying for long before getting pregnant and it just makes me realize just how unfair things can be at times. When I start thinking like that I inevitably start thinking about my disability and all my surgeries and how things might have been different if I hadn’t needed all of those surgeries. I know that I can’t change what has already happened but I still sit there and stew over the possibilities.
It is actually kind of cute though because they are excited we are at the point we are in the adoption process so that our first kids will hopefully be close in age to each other. She is still early in her pregnancy and isn’t due until the beginning of October so even if it takes us the normal 14 months once active to adopt then our kids would only be about seven months apart and would effectively be able to grow up together.