Before attending tonight’s meeting I wasn’t sure if this would be important for us to attend or not but I wanted to anyways because I like to listen and talk with other people going through adoption like us. Tonight was about adoption involving other children. Since we don’t have any other children yet we figured it wouldn’t matter for us. After getting there and catching up though we started talking about the topic and learned that it discusses not only any children we have but also previous children of the birth mother or other children related to us that will be interacting with our child.
We talked about how to prepare any children for the possible placement during the match period and how to handle any children that meet the new child before final placement has occurred. They mention how to make sure that they don’t become as attached by not referring to the new child as a brother/sister (could be cousin for us with my nephews) but explain it as you watching the child until the birth mother determines if she can be a parent.
If the birth mother is the one with other children it went over some questions and ways to talk to the child that was placed for adoption about why they were placed for adoption instead of kept like their biological brother/sister. Although these topics wouldn’t be happening for at least a few years down the road it is important to realize that it will be a conversation we will have to have regardless of why their birth mother didn’t raise them. I am hoping that when this time comes we can explain it and help them through their questions and concerns.
It can sometimes seem daunting to realize the questions and topics we will have to navigate that most parents don’t have to deal with.