So we had our meeting tonight with Kristine (our counselor) at the IAC (Independent Adoption Center) to go over what to expect in the next phase of the adoption. We mainly talked about things going on right now and any questions or updates we might have.
We did discuss things that we should avoid talking about in the initial contact with a potential birthmother. Most of those things that we already knew about such as expenses, too much detail information, situation on why she is thinking of adoption, etc. while others like the birthfather were not things we would have thought about. It also gave us a chance to talk about how we have taken this next step so far and what we think are going to be the hard parts for us going forward.
Even though we are both really excited to start a family this part can be very nervous because you aren’t sure how long it will actually take and what to expect out of the contact that you do have with birthmothers. We are hoping that things go smoothly during the contact, not that there won’t be difficult things to talk about but that there won’t be paperwork issues, and that we have the chance to have a good relationship with the birth family that we get to meet.
In addition to the meeting we also had a group session tonight talking about how to talk to other children involved in adoption. At first I thought the session would be primarily around other children we have but after going we found out more information about not only other children we might have but also friend’s children, nieces/nephews, and birthmother’s other children.
It was a relatively fast meeting last night though and a small group together which can be nice. I still feel kind of odd like the other people there aren’t willing to share their feelings and experiences at time. I think that it is the best place to talk about the stuff going on and that if you can’t talk about it with other people going through the same process who will you talk about it with. Andy and I had no problems talking about our views though (I know shocking).