Andy again! This article has to do with a Pre-adoptive dad’s points of view through the process of waiting. I TOTALLY agree with his view. Becoming a father is something that I always wanted. I knew long ago that it was a goal of mine. Stephanie and I talked very early on in dating that we wanted children. After struggling, we continued with a “whatever it takes” attitude.
Looking back on a year of waiting, the road has been long (or it feels that way) and at times, stressful, frustating, and even maddening. But it is our journey, not the other couple here or there, it is ours to travel. It is not the same journey, and you have to sit back and follow the road wherever it goes, and however long it is. Certainly going on the Last Minute List (explained in an earlier blog) could help us reach our goal sooner. We’ll still have to wait and see.
One thing I realized during the adoption process is just how complex it is. There are so many moving parts, and it would be difficult for people who are unorganized to stay on track. Stephanie is the organizer. She is on top of things in a frightening way. Spreadsheets! Lots of them. I love her for that. We found that doing all of the paperwork REALLY puts you out there for the world to see! From what races we are willing to adopt (all of them!), our financials, our bloodwork, and even our fingerprints….and not just local Police…we sent them to the FBI as well. That seems a bit weird, can they not just call eachother and ask for them? We answered questions about birthmother drug useage, and mental issues as well. It was an application to adopt a human. It is weird.
Another aspect of “putting ourselves out there”, is social media. I cannot imagine how much harder it was to spread the word 20 years go, when I can reach the world in 3 seconds on Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress etc. I am sort of a social media junkie, so this was right up my alley. I am constantly itching to find a way to “advertise” our adoption plan further and further into peoples’ hands.
During the wait, I think often about who our Birthmom will be and what will she think of us. That question will be answered later on. I think about our struggles, and our decision to move into Adoption, and what our birthmoms process for doing so will be, and how has she/will she deal with her struggles to make a decision to give her child up for adoption. I think about her support system, and hope that she has one, because going through pregnancy and adoption alone would be very hard, and i hope that they support HER decisions. I cannot wait to meet her.