Feelings About the Wait at 17 Months

Lately Andy and I have both been feeling anxious about the wait. We are officially past the average wait time now and as we get closer to needing to renew our home study again it is heartbreaking for sure. A home study is only good for 1 year and although some of the paperwork is good until we adopt there are other pieces that we need to keep updated every year. The big ones for that will be expiring in the next couple months and so we will need to start submitting paperwork soon so that we can have the results/responses back before the current ones expire.

While we know an average wait doesn’t mean anything other than half of people are faster and the other half are slower, it doesn’t help with feeling like something is wrong. Everyone going through adoption has the feeling that there is a reason why they wouldn’t be allowed to adopt a child. Whether it is thinking you are too old, too young, not “normal”, single parent, same sex couple, and etc. there is something unique about us all that can be seen as a reason for not being chosen. You think that once you are approved by an agency and your home study is approved you will stop having those doubts but they don’t go away. At times it can be all you think about. Those unique things though, are also some of the reasons why birth moms say that they chose one family over another family to be the parents to her child. As we all say to ourselves at some point it is about finding the “right” birth mom for us.

Andy and I have been discussing the topic of redoing our letter lately. The letter is frequently the first thing an expectant mom will see about us. If there is something that we want to change or add to it we have to do a full revision with our agency which can take time. We will probably need to send in more letters to our agency soon though so now would be the perfect time to redo it. I dreaded doing it the first time we did it and am not looking forward to doing it again even though I know there are several things that have changed since we last wrote it.

I’ve also been doing some looking into other sites we could setup profiles on or network through. Currently our networking includes:

  • Our blog
  • Personal website
  • Twitter account
  • Facebook page
  • Pinterest account
  • Iheartit account
  • Adoptimist profile
  • IHeartAdoption profile (IAC)
  • Our letters

–          Word of mouth of friends and family

It can be a lot to keep up with especially when we are so busy trying to work and visit with friends and family.

The keeping busy though is a big thing that helps us through the wait, which is why we are so booked for the next month already. We are also already working on booking activities for the rest of the year so we have things to look forward to. As long as it can be canceled at last minute if we were to adopt I have been setting up schedules. If any of our local friends/family want to do something with us just let us know and unless we are already busy we will be there ;)! Staying busy now is also good for us to do since some of the things we might not get to enjoy as often once we do adopt.

Here’s to hoping that we find our potential birth mother out there soon, we can’t wait to start our lives as a family!


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