This is Andy writing because I have to get something off my chest. Many of you know me, and I am a pretty emotional guy. I love everyone, talk to anyone, and support anything that they do, I let people in.
This past month, almost to the day, has been a whirl-wind of emotions. On Jan 9th, we received an email from a expecting mom that wanted to talk to us about adopting her child when it arrives. I was the lead on this communication, as I am more social and talkative than Stephanie is online, but also more available. Stephanie has been busy with work, I am more or less waiting for my photography shooting season to start.
Right away we felt comfortable with this young lady, and talking came easy. We chatted over FB Messenger and once a week or so would even Skype. We talked about all sorts of things, from work, to travel, and of course about the baby coming.
The stories she would tell were very high drama, and Stephanie and I had questions about it all. Nothing was a complete deal breaker really, but just head scratching…as in she’s too young to have really gone through that much. I wont get into detail on those.
As the month went on we talked and talked, and last week, Stephanie and I decided that we should start thinking about getting her to talk to our agency and get proof of pregnancy (something that the agency will want first anyways). We talked to her about it, and she said she was having printer issues. Everyone has printer issues, but why do you need a printer? A picture or an official email would have worked. (it never came)
There were a lot inconsistencies and this was kind of the final one for us. Things just didn’t add up and the timeline seemed to be shifting or changing about certain events she talked about. Also, there were several high drama things that she was talking about that just seemed like it was too much.
Stephanie and I knew from the start of our journey that a financial or emotional scammer was possible, and we were educated on spotting them and dealing with them. We treated this as suspect from day one, to protect ourselves really, but of course we always hoped this was real. It was not.
On Wednesday, I noticed that she had un-friended me on FB. Interesting, we had not had a bad conversation yet so it was out of the blue. But then it got interesting. I was contacted by a member of an adoption forum that was “friends” with the expecting mom and noticed that we were talking to her on FB as well.
She went on to tell me that our expectant mom was in fact not expecting at all and that she and her husband had been in contact with her as well. They started hearing the inconsistencies and rather than seeing how it unfolded they started doing an investigation into her. She found out that everything we (and they) were told was a complete lie. She had multiple facebook pages and had weaved an impressive lie to try and scam unsuspecting waiting adoptive parents.
I just really wanted to get all this drama off my chest. While we knew it might turn out this way, it was very hard for me to deal with right away because I really let this person into our lives. We included her. We worried and thought about her.
I am glad that both Stephanie and I talked our way through this like it was a dream, because it ended up that way. She and I knew that the expectant mom might be playing with us, and for that I am glad that we could detach from it. I am thankful that the IAC trained us to see these things for what they are, a possibility.
People are mean, vengeful, and sick. I feel bad for her, she is missing something deep, and needs help. She never asked us for anything, not once, but apparently has with others. We are one of at least three couples she has been doing this to. One of the other couples is where we got the real scoop. That waiting mom was just like me, hopeful, and is also hoping for a child someday, and thankfully did some hard research and uncovered the truth.
The truth about lies.