Momma Drama…

This is Andy writing because I have to get something off my chest. Many of you know me, and I am a pretty emotional guy. I love everyone, talk to anyone, and support anything that they do, I let people in.

This past month, almost to the day, has been a whirl-wind of emotions. On Jan 9th, we received an email from a expecting mom that wanted to talk to us about adopting her child when it arrives. I was the lead on this communication, as I am more social and talkative than Stephanie is online, but also more available. Stephanie has been busy with work, I am more or less waiting for my photography shooting season to start.

Right away we felt comfortable with this young lady, and talking came easy. We chatted over FB Messenger and once a week or so would even Skype. We talked about all sorts of things, from work, to travel, and of course about the baby coming.

The stories she would tell were very high drama, and Stephanie and I had questions about it all. Nothing was a complete deal breaker really, but just head scratching…as in she’s too young to have really gone through that much. I wont get into detail on those.

As the month went on we talked and talked, and last week, Stephanie and I decided that we should start thinking about getting her to talk to our agency and get proof of pregnancy (something that the agency will want first anyways). We talked to her about it, and she said she was having printer issues. Everyone has printer issues, but why do you need a printer? A picture or an official email would have worked. (it never came)

There were a lot inconsistencies and this was kind of the final one for us. Things just didn’t add up and the timeline seemed to be shifting or changing about certain events she talked about. Also, there were several high drama things that she was talking about that just seemed like it was too much.

Stephanie and I knew from the start of our journey that a financial or emotional scammer was possible, and we were educated on spotting them and dealing with them. We treated this as suspect from day one, to protect ourselves really, but of course we always hoped this was real. It was not.

On Wednesday, I noticed that she had un-friended me on FB. Interesting, we had not had a bad conversation yet so it was out of the blue. But then it got interesting. I was contacted by a member of an adoption forum that was “friends” with the expecting mom and noticed that we were talking to her on FB as well.

She went on to tell me that our expectant mom was in fact not expecting at all and that she and her husband had been in contact with her as well. They started hearing the inconsistencies and rather than seeing how it unfolded they started doing an investigation into her. She found out that everything we (and they) were told was a complete lie. She had multiple facebook pages and had weaved an impressive lie to try and scam unsuspecting waiting adoptive parents.

I just really wanted to get all this drama off my chest. While we knew it might turn out this way, it was very hard for me to deal with right away because I really let this person into our lives. We included her. We worried and thought about her.

I am glad that both Stephanie and I talked our way through this like it was a dream, because it ended up that way. She and I knew that the expectant mom might be playing with us, and for that I am glad that we could detach from it. I am thankful that the IAC trained us to see these things for what they are, a possibility.

People are mean, vengeful, and sick. I feel bad for her, she is missing something deep, and needs help. She never asked us for anything, not once, but apparently has with others. We are one of at least three couples she has been doing this to. One of the other couples is where we got the real scoop. That waiting mom was just like me, hopeful, and is also hoping for a child someday, and thankfully did some hard research and uncovered the truth.

The truth about lies.


Non-Adoption Related News!

While we haven’t made any new progress on the adoption front yet this year, we have some other great news to report on at least!

Andy’s photography business is starting to get more work and he will be the action photographer for West Forsyth Lacrosse (all 11 teams) and do the Little Shooters Lacrosse portrait shots as well. In addition to that he is getting some more work with another photographer he has worked with in the past and hopefully a couple of events to shoot for Game Face as well. It will be a very busy spring for him likely but it will be well worth it for his business to have such awesome success after a little over a year of shooting.

Similarly, I will be starting a new job in 2 short weeks! Now that it is official with signed offer and letter of resignation with my current job done I can start telling people about my new job. I am extremely excited about this opportunity and I hope that it will be a great move for my career. I will be working for a company called Workday as an Integrations Consultant. It means I will learning an entirely new software, however, it is similar in that both my current and future jobs deals with ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) solutions. This new job will also mean less travel which will be awesome when we do adopt to not have to go on the road so often.

This means putting a small delay on our trip to Vegas, but we still hope to do that this year at some point. With all of this going on we are expecting our spring to be extremely busy and that it will with any luck bring new optimism/hope into the waiting process for both of us. In two short months we will have been waiting with our agency for 2 years to adopt a child. As we get closer to that marker we have been getting more frustrated since typically 80% of families adopt with our agency within that time frame and we have not yet. A busy life with work and some planned travels this year will help take our mind off this and when we least expect it maybe we will finally become parents!