Recent Updates and Activities

So this month has been a little crazy and busy as I alluded to in one of our earlier posts. Keeping busy and accomplishing goals has helped make the adoption wait go by smoother even though we still have difficult days to get through here and there.

We had an awesome support group earlier in the month. The topic was infertility and adoption and although we did talk a lot about that topic the group in general just had a lot of great topics to talk about. We met several new couples that have recently started the process or the wait too which was great. I think this was our third time going to this specific topic at support group and it has never been the same. Andy and I love the conversation and support that we get by going to these meetings and even when we are not sure about the topic we always find that we were happy to have gone.

We also replaced my old Saturn car this month. I have had it since college and it lasted me well over the years but it was finally time to move onto something better. We got the new VW Golf Sportwagon Diesel and I love it (so does Andy but it is my primary car)! We got the hand controls put on without too much issue although a few of the places I called were annoying about not answering my questions and just asking me a bunch of stuff instead. We bought this car specifically since I am not into SUVs or vans and with our hope to be adopting sooner than later we wanted a vehicle with more storage for my chair, a stroller, a car seat, and everything else we need.  We will be going on a road trip this summer for my family reunion and we can’t wait to take the new car!

A had a girls night out at Eclipse for some delicious Tapas a week or so ago which was a blast and so much good food. They are all small plates at the restaurant so you can order multiple things (which is a good thing because you want to order everything off the menu). I stopped myself at 4 different plates and after stuffing myself and having some girl talk I was so happy to have the chance to hang out with the girls! We always have a blast together even if all we do is eat good food and talk. Now to figure out when to have the next one!

One of our things we wanted to work on this year was our health and while our diet is going well we decided to join a gym and get a trainer as well. Andy’s blood work a couple weeks ago showed that his levels are so much better in just the last 3 months and with adding in the gym they will hopefully be back to where they should be soon. I am already excited to be back in the pool swimming after almost a decade off, even if it is just swimming a few laps. My goal is to be able to swim a mile straight and build back up some of my strength (those nephews of ours are still growing and still insisting that they should be on my lap).

Another thing we ‘accomplished’ this month was finding a church. We have been talking about it for a while now and a couple weekends ago we had done our research and found a church to try. We love the church that we found and are excited to get up on Sunday mornings and go to service. Living in the south there are a lot of churches everywhere you turn however a majority of them are baptist or non-denominational and we were looking for a Lutheran church to attend. We both like the more traditional services and were lucky enough to find a church that holds both contemporary and traditional services.

Finally, Andy has had Lacrosse, Lacrosse, and more Lacrosse photos! He is staying so busy with his shooting schedule this spring that I am sure he is looking forward to the summer when things slow back down for him.

Letter to our future Child (second edition)

I think about you being here all of the time. The day we meet you is going to be the best day of my life. Yes, I did say the best day. Marrying your mother was a very close second, but waiting for you to arrive was/is much more difficult. I often wonder if you will be into sports, or music, and what your talents will be. Stephanie and I will allow you to explore your interests and support your goals in those areas.

As I spend my weekends on the Lacrosse fields snapping memories for other parents, I can’t help but visualize supporting you doing whatever you chose to do. I stand on the sidelines and watch kids get knocked down. I watch parents pick them up, and brush them off. I live for that moment. It makes me happy to see parents care so much, but let their kids do what they want to do. When/if you get knocked down, I will always be there to pick you up.

I’ll build LEGOs with you, lay on the floor and play with Hotwheels with you (I have massive collections of both of these things) that we’ll get to play with. Whether you are a boy or girl, I will be playing on the floor with you, playing with whatever  you want to play with. We have your first kitchen set waiting in your toy room for you. They were made in the 70s for your aunt Sara and I by your grandfather. They were passed down to cousins and family friends for decades. They will be yours.

I cannot wait to meet you. We have so many things we want to do with you, places to show you, things to teach you.

Spring Visit to Houston 2015

Well I am a little behind on getting this blog out there but last week ended up being a little crazy… more on that in a later blog.

The weather kept us from watching the nephews play baseball and lacrosse over the weekend (which had been the main purpose of our trip this time) but we still ended up having a great time. We had fun eating some awesome food (mexican, bbq, burgers, etc.) now the diet has begun again. In addition to joining a gym a couple weeks ago we also signed up for a personal trainer last week to help keep us focused on our health goals and get us to where we both want to be.

My mom, sister, and I got to do a girls night out on Saturday with a dinner out and then a night of painting at a paint studio close by. I have gone several times already and have a blast and mom and I went just a couple weeks before this but we thought it would be a blast to do all of us together. We had looked for a painting we could take the boys to as they love art too but it just didn’t work out on this visit so it will have to be another time.

In addition to the delicious food over the weekend, the whole family went indoor sky diving! This was one of the craziest things we have done as a family I think and was not even aware that it was on the table for possible events until the last minute. The indoor sky diving place was called iFly and they were amazing. Since I am in a wheelchair we were unsure if they would be open to helping me in order to enjoy the experience with everyone. They ended up being so great though with the instructor helping me get into the wind tunnel and guiding me as needed. If you have an iFly in your city and have the desire to go I would suggest it as an awesome activity to do with friends/family. At the bottom are a couple links to the videos for both Andy and I in the tunnel…

 

We also were able to watch my younger nephew’s piano recital with just enough time to make it to the airport. Luckily, his piano teacher was able to move the schedule around so he was first to play otherwise we would have missed that as well. It was awesome and he is such a riot. He played two different songs on the piano and the second song he actually played twice. The first time he played it sitting and the second he played laying down on the bench… haha!

What a whirlwind vacation/weekend but such a great time was had by all of us!

Stephanie’s Flight

Andrew’s Flight

Letter to Our Future Child

Tomorrow we leave to go on a quick trip to visit your cousins. We are excited to see them and happy that we will be able to watch them play lacrosse and baseball this spring. We can’t wait to take you on trips to see them and play with them as you grow up. When we get to visit family we often think of you and how great it will be to have you with us one day for the trips.

We have been waiting for you to come into our lives for a while now. We hope that you get her soon but also know that you will get here as soon as you can so we can become a family. We can’t wait to love you, care for you, and watch you become your own unique person. We have never met and although you are not biologically related to us we already love you. We love the thought of feeding, cuddling, snuggling, and soothing you as an infant, playing, teaching, and acting goofy with you as you go from toddler to child, and watching you mature through the teen years into the adult you will become.

I often find my mind wondering if you will be a boy or girl or what you will look like: African American/Asian/Hispanic/Caucasian, blonde/brown/red/black hair, blue/green/brown/hazel eyes, tall/short, etc. Will you like sports and want to compete/watch them, will you be really into art and be creative, or will you be super smart and into learning about new things. There are so many unknowns as to who you are or will be and the not knowing makes the wait hard. We do know that we will love you with all our hearts and we will do anything we can to make sure you are taken care of and have everything you need to grow up into who you are.

While it will be one of the happiest days of our life, the day we meet you, we also know that it will be one of the saddest or hardest days of someone else’s life as well. The day we get to take you home and become your parents is also the day that your birth mom will be choosing us to be your parents. We can’t imagine doing something as difficult as she will do that day. Hopefully, having an open relationship/communication will allow for her to grieve when she needs to but also get comfort in still knowing you as you grow up.

We can’t wait to meet you and your birth family. We hope that there will be visits, letters, phone calls, and pictures to share between all of us. For you to get to know them and understand that family can be so different and include all of us because being family just means that you love someone unconditionally. No matter where life takes us or how much contact we have with your birth family we will always love them because without them we wouldn’t have you.

Looking forward to meeting you for the first time!

2 Years and Counting

Well today is day 1 in the third year of waiting, can I just say ugh. We went live with our agency on April 5th, 2013 which seems so long ago now. It has been hard to stomach that we have not adopted yet since our agency has a 80% adoption rate by the time you have been waiting 2 years. While Andy and I both still hope and feel like this is the year it is going to happen, this particular milestone to reach has been a little more difficult than the others. We are both so ready to be parents and the not knowing of when it will happen is getting harder. Both of us feel like if we knew the date that it would happen, even if that date was a year in the future, it would be easier knowing and not stressing about the wait so much.

Since knowing the date is not something we can know until it actually happens we are both making some changes in our lives. We are getting a couple doctor’s visits taken care of, looking into churches to attend, joining a gym (that has a pool in case I want to swim), looking at purchasing a new car, etc. It is also time to do some more projects around the house and we are looking forward to a few trips coming up over the next several months, including one this weekend to visit our nephews in Texas. We typically have very busy lives in general and we haven’t put anything off during the wait that we want to do, other than a couple really large trips (like Europe or a cruise). As the wait continues it is just finding other things we want to do before we have a child that will make travel or date nights more difficult.

Over the last week we did get the chance to have a date night and see the movie Home, which was hilarious and awesome. It has been a little while since our last date night just because of my changing jobs and Andy’s crazy schedule of photography in the spring. Also, we used Andy’s new smoker to do up some delicious ribs and have my parents over for dinner. They turned out great and next time we will try and improve upon them by cooking them even lower and slower. We finished up the week with a little Easter celebrating with the family. My mom and dad had us and my aunt’s family over for a ham dinner last night. It was delicious food and fun to catch up with the family a little bit.

I have been thinking one way to kick off the new year of waiting is to start a thankfulness/positives jar. Where every day we try and put in 1 thing positive that happened or 1 thing that we are thankful for that day. While we can then focus on the good things that are happening for us and around us we can hopefully stress less about the wait. Today I am thankful for everyone that has supported us so far in this adoption process. It is amazing to see over 1000 people on our Facebook page that have been following on our journey, the people we have met in support groups help to keep us sane when we feel like no one else can understand what we are going through, and our friends and family are anxious to see us as parents and look forward to updates no matter what the update is.

April Fools Day

I must say that this year was surprisingly the easiest April Fool’s Day to get through since we started trying to have a family. Not a single friend or family member that I saw on Facebook posted a prank about a false pregnancy. Also, I saw multiple friends that posted something along the lines of how hurtful that type of post is to some people and you that people shouldn’t make jokes about it.

While I have never participated in an April Fool’s Day joke I do find most of them funny. Lately it has seemed like people are trying to do a joke though and are instead using some situation that can be a difficult topic for some people to deal with. It isn’t even just the pregnancy jokes that are hard to handle for those having difficulty starting or growing a family but jokes about life events that can be very emotional for people. There were a lot of people that hated the joke that Sam Smith tweeted about being straight since there are so many people that struggle with their sexuality, coming out, etc.

These jokes feel like the person that posts them doesn’t understand how difficult it can be for some people and the reminder of things that they have no control over. I feel like there are better ways to play a prank or joke on someone (or for all of facebook) without playing with topics such as divorce, sexuality, pregnancy, etc. So I just want to thank those that I am friends with on facebook for not pretending to be pregnant. I am not the only one struggling with infertility/adoption and while there are those that don’t feel upset over it there are many more that it hurts. On the other hand if you are pregnant I love to see the announcements! We just had a friend announce a few days ago and I was happy to see that they were expecting again.